| tattoos |
[Sep. 17th, 2009|12:58 am] |
note to self / pieces to incorporate into my tattoos:
- feather underneath each collarbone
- "Howl"
- dia de los muertas skull
- Jack Kerouac portrait/quote (?)
- Devendra stripes
- swallows
yellow bird
- howling wolf / moon (?)
- sea
The Great Wave (?)
- dreamcatcher (?)
- gypsy / American traditional
- full backpiece (?)
Japanese style
dragon / phoenix
flowers
Noh mask (to ward off evil)
- "fight off your demons"
- something in honour of Andrew McMahon
- K (?)
- outline of California (?)
- Simon & Garfunkel lyrics (?)
- art/graphic novel panel on underarm (Neil Gaiman?)
and preferrably having the American traditional done by Ami James, and the backpiece by Chris Garver / Tim Hendricks, yeah? I wish. |
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| Kerouac's Thirty Essentials of Spontaneous Prose |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|04:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the kinks | ] |
1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven |
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| hangover |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|05:45 am] |
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god I hate when the garbage truck comes in the morning. my head is a mess. I shouldn't have had all that red wine last night, but it was such a good night, drinking our sorrows away. I haven't slept for hours and I'm not sure if I feel sick or not. I had some tea while the sun started to rise. it's getting brighter by the minute. orange juice? sleep? painkillers? maybe I'll watch a movie. my head feels as heavy as an anvil. |
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| idk |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|03:04 am] |
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I write sentences but I just keep deleting them, and finally I end up not posting anything at all. I just thought I'd tell you. I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. |
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| I like this |
[Aug. 15th, 2009|02:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the tallest man on earth | ] |
1999 by Kevin A. González
We were driving to your funeral
& our father was not crying
because he has a way
of tying ribbons around grief.
It was the year we learned
the piercing that prefaces the blood
holds the most delicate of darknesses.
Then it was the year we opened
all our faucets & waited for the sea
to bleed to death. Then it was the year
we set fire to your mitt. Then, suddenly
the year we started to believe
every thorn was just a bridge.
Then the year all we talked about
was boxing. Then the year
my stomach hurt all year, & then
the year no one spoke of you.
If there were an antonym for suicide
we could all choose when to be born.
I would have been born after that day
so I could not remember you.
So my fingers would stop pointing
at all the things that aren’t there
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| crash boom crash |
[Aug. 6th, 2009|07:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Wolf, Good Wolf | ] |
I update my tumblr, every day, all the time. mostly pictures, not words |
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| tested dry |
[Jul. 30th, 2009|12:50 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jena malone and her bloodstains | ] |
I'm back from England. I've gotten a tumblr.
I don't know what else to say. It all feels quite surreal.
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| nervous wreck |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|11:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | belle & sebastian | ] |
graduating tomorrow. shit. I'm nervous/excited. within a day, I'll be officially adult and also unemployed. it's scary. I have to figure out what to do. where to go. who to be. ahhh god.
don't really have time now, soo. alright.
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| ghost of you |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|09:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | good charlotte | ] |
oh goddd. I'm listening to Good Charlotte's "The Chronicles of Life and Death" for the first time in like, forever. all the feelings just come rushing back. I'm not ashamed to say that this record had a huge influence in my life. Good Charlotte helped me through some tough times. and I don't care if you think they're posers or mainstream or whatever, their music was honest to me. "Wounded" still remains one of my favourite songs. I love them. a part of me will always love them. even when I grow up old and apart. god, Good Charlotte. I owe you for saving my life so many times. thank you.
"it wasn't so long ago that I was laying in the backyard under the stars wondering what this would feel like. what was left of a pretty broken family, we were forced to move out of our home and into a little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Maryland. miles from everything - with no car, only a guitar, records we loved and a lot of time to dream. I remember that time in my life so clearly, like it was yesterday. in the winter we passed the cold nights talking about how it would be on tour with our favourite bands. wondering what it was like in California, how everything would get better once we made it. we spent the summers in the backyard writing songs, daydreaming about what it would be like once we got here, and here we are. on the eve of one of the proudest times in our life, the chronicles of life and death will leave our hands and into those of people that we love. a lot has happened in the last few years and this album is our hope of telling what we've learned and hopefully giving something back to all of you that have made all this possible. this record is our pledge to remember what music means to all of our lives, that we refuse to forget where we came from and the hope that the bands we loved gave to us. this music has given us all somewhere to go, a place to belong..." - Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) |
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| i don't wanna wonder whether you care |
[May. 31st, 2009|01:29 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | she & him | ] |
so I started my own music blog, read it here. I can't stop writing about music. It's mostly about indie/folk + Belle & Sebastian type of music, with reviews, lists, mixes and recommendations.
otherwise.. I don't know, I've been hanging around at home. started working out, cutting down on snacks etc. don't have much school nowadays. been watching a lot of movies and finding new music as well. just watched Yes Man, I liked it. I love Zooey Deschanel. goshhh.
also I've been dreaming a lot about London. I want to move now. nooooooooow
oh well I'm tired. |
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| i forgot |
[May. 26th, 2009|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bon iver, still | ] |
my lovely vintage handmade 60's dress:
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| the world spins madly on |
[May. 10th, 2009|02:11 am] |
woke up and wished that i was dead
with an aching in my head, i lay motionless in bed
i thought of you and where you'd gone
let the world spin madly on
everything that i said i'd do
like make the world brand new
and take the time for you
i just got lost and slept right through the dawn
and the world spins madly on
i let the day go by, i always say goodbye
i watch the stars from my window sill
the whole world is moving and i'm standing still
--
saw "Rachel Getting Married" today, it was tragic/lovely.
recognized myself in it, don't know if I love or hate it
actually went with the the confirmation "after party", lots of relatives and stuff.. ugh. free alcohol and food, plus it made my parents happy and it made me get out of bed today (I didn't get properly out of bed until 2). sort of disappointed in myself, haven't had a drink in days, but yeah. it's not like I'm actually trying to quit, just cutting down. anyway. so tired now. hope I can sleep. |
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| can't stand to be sober without someone |
[May. 9th, 2009|11:22 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jonna lee | ] |
weekends used to be my time, my "own" time when I could be alone and do what I wanted. now they're just empty and vast, because I know that I'll be just as alone the next day, and the day after that, and no one will want to see me anyway. I am so close to coming with to my distant relative's confirmation, just to be around people. holy fuck.
I was looking forward to getting my new pair of converse today.
but even my parents are ditching me now.
and I can't open my window without spiders getting in.
FML |
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| hold me, hold me, hold me |
[May. 8th, 2009|03:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bon iver | ] |
you said hi to me today. I guess it's a start.
when I came home, I slept.
I've been shaking all day.
I don't know why.
you've really got a hold on me.
we'll never go back to what we were.
things have changed. you changed everything. |
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| so here's to living life miserable |
[May. 7th, 2009|09:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | city and colour | ] |
I suppose you'll never forgive me, but I don't understand why. this is all just ridiculous. get over it.
I cannot wait for graduation. I just want to get away from here.
nothing's holding me back, nothing.
I want to start over. a new chapter. a clean slate.
change my ways and reinvent myself.
how are you even okay with this situation?
don't you regret anything, or are you too proud to admit it?
and why aren't you mad at him?
I have too many questions.
too many things on my mind.
dying. dying. dying.
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| face to face: the kinks |
[May. 6th, 2009|06:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the kinks | ] |
"It has been said by mercenary-minded persons that upon setting out along life's road the bread, the filthy lucre of W. Shakespeare of highly regarded memory would seem to be the thing to go for.
So if you accept the opinion of these aforesaid persons in the spirit in which it is given and get cracking you get the loot.
So what next?
So far on your passage through this vale of tears you have been a hick, a nothing and an unheralded nobody. To be a well respected man must be your next aim, and with the loot in your pocket and the wicked world being what it is,
You become a well respected personage ere you know it.
Then comes dedication to the dictates of fashion. The Carnaby Street. The striped natty suiting. Touches of velvet upon the collar. Touches of lace upon the underwear.
And of course, ties of polka dot and Persian-originated Paisley pattern.
Next? Country house, yacht, powered by sail and/or steam, with the motor car in lurid colour and with white walls to its wheels smiling in the golden gravel drive.
Ladies of course. Ladies with long legs and little bosom, hair the colour of corn, very mini, very skinny dresses. Status symbol ladies with rich dark sheen in the depths of the skin.
Dwindling in the end to one lady, one Special who gets in among the soul.
The trouble being that the perfect woman becomes a bore, like having Venus de Milo constantly upon one's hands.
So angry words are spoken, and she of golden hair and mini skirt, half woman, half thighs leaves. With car. Back to ma and pa. With tales of drunkeness and cruelty.
As if this is not enough, fate flings its last custard pie.
The taxman cometh.
And you are left with the glass of ice cold beer, and the sun on the uplands with dappled shadows and all, which is much better, as the poet has it than a poke up the nostril with a burnt stick.
(Now read on.)
Raymond Douglas Davies, a musician, not forgetting David, his kith and kin,
Peter Quaife, bass guitar who once wrote a story about an embarrassing affliction from which Rays grandfather suffered for over forty years,
And Michael Avory, drummer and the possessir of four shoes, two for each foot,
Have continued the story. And stories parallel to his sad one.
About the frustrations of the telephone, About rainy days and sunny days, about sessions men and dark ladies, about P.V.C. grass skirts in Waikiki, about memories, and dandies, and most of all about the breadwinner who was in the beginning, who lost all, sold his most exclusive residence, and passed into the bosom of his fathers."
- Frank Smyth, Autumn 1966.
(i posted this purely because of the part about ladies with long legs and little bosom, i want to be one) |
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| confess all my sins like you want me to |
[May. 2nd, 2009|04:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bon iver | ] |
been photographing a lot.. not really a lot, but still, you can see it here or well, on my blog. actually made a short film yesterday, watch it here. feeling a bit better now, my throat isn't killing me anymore, luckily. i got new sunglasses today, but i regret not getting an adidas jacket, one i've looked for/wanted for over two years now.. it'll probably be sold out once i decide to get it. i shouldn't buy it, because i'm poor and also i could get something better instead. finally getting a pair of new converse this week though! probably white ones<3 anyway i'm tired and i'm gonna go eat/read. |
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| always waiting for something lasting |
[Apr. 30th, 2009|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | anna ternheim/shout out louds | ] |
lose your hunger and you lose your way
get confused and then you fade away
oh this town kills you when you're young
too lonely to live, too frightened to die
i want to wear oceans and flowers
cover every inch of my body
what do people do on thursdays?
i've never felt so alone, have i?
been sitting in my window, watching
the street below, the stars in the sky
the whole world was silent
sometimes i wonder what would happen if i just got up and left |
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| you fall from every throne |
[Apr. 27th, 2009|02:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | anna ternheim | ] |
lately you've been bothered by your friends
we will disturb you, to make you talk again
try to find the other side of you
the things you hide, what you don't say
we say no, oh no, we won't let you slip inbetween
we say no, oh no, we won't let you squeeze right through
give you second chances easily
we wait for answers, for hours and years
but the sadness in your eyes won't go away
it becomes you, in a strange kind of way
i wonder where you come from
who you've been, what you gain if you win
but my guess is right, you break like glass
and i wonder where your god was then
i say no, oh no, i won't let you slip inbetween
i say no, oh no, i won't let you squeeze right through
oh how sweet a girl like you can be when she tries
you're changing skin like i change clothes
you're faking it well, but it shows
you say "lately i've been bothered by my friends
they need forgiveness and 'i need therapy', they say
better lock up well before they come
with their prayers, and loaded guns
better lock up well before they come
more than ten years to ignore what they're here for"
we say no, oh no, we won't let you slip inbetween
we say no, oh no, we won't let you squeeze right through
we say no, no no no, since you fall from every throne |
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indiepend3nt's journal
